How do I self-amuse without being a weirdo?

• First of all, self-amusement is not inherently attractive.
  • Have you ever heard a girl compliment a guy for being “so self-amused”?
  • Girls do not talk about self-amusement as an attractive quality.
• Self-amusement is a shortcut to help you avoid certain unattractive qualities.
  • Most men put women on a pedestal because of how they were raised.
  • Most men fail shit-tests and supplicate to the girl.
  • Most men give in to a girl’s whims, try to buy her attention and affection, and prove themselves to her.
  • Self-amusement is good in the sense that it eliminates these behaviors.
  • However, knowing about these bad behaviors is enough to avoid them.
• In theory, self-amusement also helps you not run out of things to say.
  • However, running out of things to say is not the problem.
  • Running out of good things to say is the problem.
  • If you’re self-amusing to say dumb things, you’re almost better off not having anything to say.
  • There are a lot of better ways to practice having something to say.
    • You can work on your storytelling.
    • If you have to, you can use a canned line.
    • If you’re out of things to say, use something that has worked for you before.
• Self-amusement stems from the desire to be at cause rather than effect in an interaction.
  • Most men are largely reactive to women.
  • It comes from the idea of “it doesn’t matter what you say as long as you’re amused.”
  • Self-amusement “works” in the sense that anything you say with conviction or for fun will be better than saying something to get a reaction.
  • However, saying dumb shit is still saying dumb shit.
• The girl is reacting to what you put out in the world and show her, not what’s going inside your head.
• Self-amusement without any structure, direction, or plan will lead to random, haphazard results, preventing you from getting better.
• If self-amusement is making you look ridiculous, it’s useless.
  • If self-amusement is self-deprecating or conveys you in a low-value way, that’s very bad.
  • The whole purpose of game is to convey yourself as a high-value guy.
• Self-amusement is just a technique that takes you from shitty to less shitty. That’s it.
• If you really want to improve, you need to actually understand your game and get regimented.
• Don’t supplicate, have a plan, and move things forward. If you learn to do this without self-amusement, you’ll be much better off.

Yes. Finally. Question I’ve been wanting to answer for a long time. How to self-amuse without being seen as a weirdo?

I’m going to take it a step further. Fuck about being seen as a weirdo, stop being a weirdo. I see so many guys do weirdo self-amusement, and I fucking hate this shit. I’m a little pissed off. I’m a lot pissed off. I’m pissed off that the pick-up community has devolved to this. OK. First of all, self-amusement, in and of itself, is not inherently attractive. When girls tell their girlfriends about the guy they met, they’re never like, “oh, he was so self-amused.” Have you ever heard that? You’ve never heard that. You’ve heard he was tall, dark, handsome, doctor, fucking made me feel amazing, took me on an adventure. You’ve heard all these other things. You’ve never heard, “he was so self-amused” as an attractive quality.

Do you know why? Because it’s not inherently attractive. What self-amusement is, it’s a shorthand to help you avoid certain unattractive qualities. Most men inherently put women on a pedestal because of how they were raised. Most men inherently fail women’s shit-tests and do what’s called supplicating, like giving into the girl, trying to buy her attention, buy her affection, prove themselves to her. So the purpose of self-amusement, half of it is just to avoid those bad behaviors. It’s good as far as that goes. It will help you avoid those bad behaviors. But that said, you could avoid those bad behaviors in a million other ways. Actually, just knowing about those bad behaviors is enough to avoid them.

The other thing self-amusement will do in theory is it will help you to not run out of things to say. However, that said, running out of things to say is not the problem. It’s running out of good things to say. And if you’re self-amusing into dumb shit to say, you’re almost better off not having something to say. Regardless, there are a lot of better ways to know what to say. For example, work on your storytelling. For example, if you have to, use a canned line. I know blasphemy, right? Use something that has worked for you before. If you’re out of shit to say, this worked before, throw it in. It’s a lot better than throwing the next retarded clownish thing out there and hoping.

So self-amusement. Where did it come from? It came from this desire to kind of be at cause rather than effect in the interaction because men usually were massively reactive to women. And it came from this desire to be willing to have something to say. This idea that like, “oh, it doesn’t matter what you say, as long as you’re amused.” It’s kind of true. A little bit. It’s true in the sense that anything you say will be better if you say it with conviction. Anything you say will be better if you are having fun saying it rather than saying it specifically to get a reaction. That’s all true. That said, saying dumb shit is still saying dumb shit. The girl is reacting to what you actually put out in the world and show her. She’s not reacting to what’s going on inside your brain.

So self-amusement is useful as a way for a totally new beginner guy to get from “I completely suck” to “I only sort of suck.” That said, if your game is self-amusement without any sort of structure, without any sort of direction, without any sort of plan involved, you’re gonna get very random, haphazard results, which quite frankly is what most guys that learn game get. That’s what keeps you at intermediate. That’s almost the definition of intermediate. “I can get a result sometimes, but it’s completely unpredictable. It’s completely random, and I don’t have control over it. And it’s very hard for me to learn from because it is so random.” Once you have a little structure, once you have a little direction in your game, then you can actually improve and you can learn.

So, self-amusement has its place, I guess, and definitely the things done by self-amusement have their place. But if self-amusement is making you ridiculous, it’s useless. The other thing I want to point out about self-amusement is if self-amusement is self-deprecating, if self-amusement is you conveying yourself from a low-value place in order to amuse yourself, that’s really, really bad because the whole purpose of game is to convey the vision or the image to the girl that you are a high-value guy. If self-amusement is causing you to convey yourself as a low-value guy, you’re actually acting against your own interests in game.

OK, so don’t think that self-amusement is some holy grail. Self-amusement is some training wheels, little cheat code, to get you from beginner to intermediate. That’s all it is. It’s not the Holy Grail. It’s not even inherently attractive. It’s just a technique that gets you from shitty to less shitty. All right. If you want to take it any further than that, you need to actually understand your game. You’d actually get a little regimented. And you’d need to understand, basically, don’t supplicate, have a plan, move things forward. OK. That’s what self-amusement is meant to do. If you learn to do that without relying on self-amusement as your crutch for it, you’re gonna do much, much, much better.

I hope you enjoyed that. I know that’s actually a really big topic that I get all the time in the pick-up community, so I’m glad I got to address it. To get some more questions answered, and let me know some big questions you have, I want to address the big questions in this channel. So, check them out below and be sure to subscribe.