What is Premise?

by | Premise

When you first approach a girl, you’re a stranger. Often, it’s unclear, especially during daygame, why you’re approaching and talking to her. The idea behind premise is to give her a sense, ideally in the most subtle way possible, that you’re there because you’re interested in her sexually.

One of the most common sticking points guys have is that they fail to make this clear. Instead they have platonic conversations that leave the girl wondering the point of the interaction. If no man-to-woman premise is established, you’ll be slotted into the friendzone by default, or worse, she’ll just leave the conversation-to-nowhere altogether. (If you’ve ever heard, “Okay, nice to meet you, bye,” then this has happened to you.)

The difference between premise and intent is subtle but important. Showing intent is telling the girl that you like her. Showing premise, however, is indicating that you might like her. The difference in clarity of interest is the difference between putting her on a pedestal and being on the same level, or even higher than her. Additionally, this subtlety allows you to minimize the risk of rejection while still making the purpose of the interaction implicitly known.

Think of showing intent as a tiny subset of what can establish the premise of an interaction.

At a beginner level, showing direct intent is okay because it establishes premise when it was likely lacking before. Also, if you’re a beginner, you’ll likely have many leveling behaviors (behaviors that reveal your true value as a man) later on in set, so using a leveling opener is largely irrelevant.

At an intermediate and advanced level, the better alternative is subtlety through establishing a man-to-woman premise. The beauty of premise is that only one person is required to establish it. This means you have control over the nature of the interaction. What’s important to remember is that the premise of the conversation becomes ambiguous with time unless there are occasional reminders.

Think of establishing premise as filling a leaky bucket. At the start, you need to add a lot of man- to-woman premise to fill it. Once the bucket is full, you only have to occasionally add more premise to prevent the level from dropping.

How do you show intent without being needy? How do you get to the point in your interactions? The answer is premise.