Set yourself up for success, not failure. One of the main reasons why guys get blown out is because their approach angle is wrong.
The key mentality to have when approaching the girl is to do so as if you already know her. Whenever approaching, think: Is this how I’d greet my best friend?
If you go into the open with the assumption that she’ll stop, respond positively, and engage in conversation, your belief is much more likely to become reality.
General rule: Open immediately after making eye contact. Don’t be the creepy guy who locks eyes with the girl, looks away, and then tries to open later. That’s weird. If necessary, use your hands to signal to her or a louder voice to make sure she knows you’re talking to her.
In daygame, there are three main situations the girl will be in when approaching—seated, standing, and walking. Generally speaking, the more stationary the girl, the easier it will be to get her full attention on you. Your goal should then be to eventually get any moving girl to stop so that she can better engage in the conversation and focus on you.
Seated: Stand until you hook (she invests by asking a question) and then sit, ideally with a false time constraint so she’s comfortable knowing that you won’t stay forever.
Standing: Casually approach while remembering that if she makes eye contact with you, open immediately.
Walking, Opposite Direction: Open when they’re about 10 feet out with an assertive voice that expects her to stop. Do not wait for a response. Keep talking until she stops. If you are within this 10-foot space, it’s likely, especially if she’s walking fast, that she’ll go right past you. You are in bad shape if you need to step into her way to prevent this, or you have to turn around and start chasing. Be smart, and open early.
Walking, Same Direction: If the girl is in front of you, walk slightly faster alongside her. Ideally, you’ll give her a light tap on the upper arm when you are parallel so that you open her right after you are one step ahead. In this scenario, you want to avoid opening from behind. If you are behind and she doesn’t immediately stop, you look like you are following her.
The key to finessing getting her to stop here is to open ahead, then slow down and do a half pivot with your body so that it looks as if you are stopping. What’s nice here is that you can also easily continue walking if she doesn’t stop. Remember to have in your mind that you expect her to stop. She will follow your lead, so commit to the stop, and it’s likely she’ll do the same.
Note: If she’s moving particularly fast or doesn’t seem to want to stop, walk with her. Once you have more of her attention and investment, you can slow to a stop and she’s likely to comply. A good line here is, “Hey, before you follow me all around the city . . .” and come to a halt while continuing the conversation. This is a helpful reframe because often guys walking with will be interpreted as following her. Ideally, you can stop her within 100 feet of the initial open.
In nightgame there are a variety of different scenarios, complicated by the fact that there are also group dynamics. A good strategy here is to simply stand in a popular area of the bar where many people walk by. This will mean that you won’t have to navigate the crowds looking for girls—they’ll come to you.
Standing: When you see a girl who is walking or isn’t facing you, you can give a firm, yet light double tap and pull on her shoulder. This will get her attention, and, in combination with a confident open, will help get her to face you with her full attention.
At Bar: Wait until she is done ordering her drink to approach. Remember that you want her attention, so limiting external distractions, like her drink, will help you be more successful.
In Group: Make your opener collective, engage the group, then once they accept you, get into a more isolated conversation with the girl.